a spontaneous and fearless space for MC’s thoughts
A Familiar Pattern, Broken.
Recently myself & a person from my past reunited again. And whilst the past me was incredibly excited and happy it was happening, something felt so off. It was all pleasantries and kindness but I knew we were new versions of ourselves and the part of me that was yearning and aching for something of the past to happen again didn't seem to come up after a while. However, after the initial disappointment and feelings of something slipping away yet again (which was a result of me feeling like it was all in my hands, when I forgot or rather chose to ignore that it really takes two to dance) I was somehow comforted and empowered in the eventual feeling of solitude and contentment in almost letting it simmer down and pass. Through all this, someone reminded me of how important it was to be "chosen." To have someone CHOOSE YOU. A simply oddity, but likewise it completely changed my outlook and I felt such a weight lifted. I won't sit and allow myself to yearn and fight for a reunion where I wasn't the first choice to begin with. All this change showed me that we are all constantly changing beings and we will always surprise ourselves somehow in how we feel about something. I am still surprised I am in a place of being ok and happy with myself. Its a growing journey, and a winding one at that. And all we can do is walk ourselves through it and wait & listen to what ourself needs - pausing, detouring, etc. Break in thoughts….
Today’s a Monday. I was just sitting in front of my window this morning, drinking a morning black coffee, and an interesting thought dawned on me. Usually when I have a still moment in the mornings - when I’m still a little drowsy and groggy from sleep, I like to really be planted in my current position & see if I can differentiate if today is a weekday or if it’s the weekend. I do this before the day’s busyness engulfs me and I become glued in with my scheduling and calendar.
On weekend mornings, I typically could feel this overall calmness and quietness that was so subtle but obvious, as mostly everyone was having a lie in or not in a noisy rush to get to work etc, and it was one that on weekdays I couldn’t hear. Weekdays usually there was a faint buzzing of trains or loud vehicles passing, or perhaps the faint noise of crowds just bustling to work. Kind of like when you turn off the fridge or overall electricity in your house and you realise there was a faint buzzing before and now there’s a quietness to everything. These sounds were relatively faint, however today within the lockdown and self-isolation we’re doing, the quietness was so obvious today. Today really felt like stillness and quietness, just like weekend mornings do.
Break in thoughts….
ON HANGING WET LAUNDRY
Admittedly - there is something very nice about hanging your wet, clean laundry out to dry - instead of putting it through a dryer. Whilst dryers are the modern man’s absolute dream and rightfully so - as they produce deliciously dry and lovely smelling clothes. However there’s something to be said about the process of hanging up clothing on a rail or on hangers outside etc.
Likewise, it goes hand in hand with slow living. We can’t just pop the clothes in a machine and come back twenty minutes later with freshly dry clothes, but rather are forced to really think about our schedules and timing & know it will be a day - if not two days until we have the clothes fully dried - and not this notion of constant “go, go, go,” with immediate results.
Break in thoughts….
Allan Grant
It’s incredibly exhausting holding onto the belief that transformation and change have to be these MONUMENTAL scenarios. When in reality, transformation can be changed thoughts, changed beliefs, updated routines, to name a few methods of transformation. It truly is dependent on who you are talking to, as for one person a changed thought could be a small matter within a day, whilst for someone else, that could be truly monumental. But we can’t persevere on with the notion that good change is ONLY monumental change. Transformation can be over the course of months, whilst some transformation can be a matter of hours, both are valid and should be praised. Transformation can be running into the ocean, slamming our bodies into the oncoming current, but it also can be walking up and dipping our toes in and confirming that is enough for today. So, my prompt for you today is - what transformation (regardless of how small or large it is) are you going to start today?
Herb Ritts
Here are some of my favourite slow living things I do, whilst living in a effervescently fast paced life.
ON SELF-CARE • Admittedly I enjoy being super busy, and perhaps over working myself. However lately I’ve really begun to embrace my boundaries in the realm of self-care. I’m making sure I accept and support myself in doing things that calm me, restore me, and prep me, for the present moment and future experiences to come. Food: First on my list, as usually it is the first thing that I connect with upon waking up. I’ll admit my relationship with food is an ever changing one. I’m vegan, but the idea of an over abundance of great food is my absolute dream and it does perhaps take some reeling in sometimes. Anyways - I digress.
A plethora of health has been invested in. Fruits, and veg in particular - for smoothies, and steamed fresh vegetable dinners. Minimal MSGS. Boiled water has been a big friend of mine, as I’m currently staying in an AirBnb and I can’t say I trust the tap water just yet, likewise whilst those 1L bottles of water are tempting, the 1 use plastic isn’t. When I’m home in Asia, I usually eat massive bowls of plain vegetables, seasoned in almost nothing - if not just a dash of soy sauce. Typically the veggies are just so tasty, sauce isn’t really needed in my opinion. Vegan meats are popping up in Hong Kong at a speedy rate - which is amazing - but likewise I’m trying to consider my soy and wheat intake. Sometimes meals that are purely vegetables are just exactly what is needed. The UK certainly has a plethora of vegan meat options at restaurants and supermarkets, whilst quite expensive, the options are certainly there.
I’ve been taking Iron supplements, B12 supplements, and more recently, Zinc, Magnesium, and Biotin. Likewise vegan Omega & vitamin D supplements are on their way to me, as a frequent memory fog occurs with me, and apparently Omega is helpful to the brain’s functions. *Note - All supplements react differently with different people, not a professional doctor, just sharing what works for me.
Rest: Rest…rest…rest. Sometimes when it’s my down time, I get relatively anxious / disturbed by the thought of “I should be doing something productive” - even if it’s the weekend! Whilst I would surely tell my loved ones they deserve rest, especially on weekends, and I would surely agree it applies to me - I can’t help but sometimes feel like I could always be doing more. Perhaps this heavily applies to freelancers, as we always are trying to do more as there is always something to be done, and we have to worked really hard - if not twice as hard as 9-5 office jobs. Likewise, it’s so easy to just continue working even after 5pm when most people would go home. But again, rest and relaxation are incredibly important and it’s a daily thing where I don’t beat myself up over taking breaks or on weekends just resting thoroughly.
ON MUSIC • I’ve been listening to more and more bands who’s genres can only be described as 1960s pop. A melodic harmonious mix of guitars full of reverb, and chill mellow coos and calls of vocals. A band I’ve been listening to repeatedly is, Summer Salt. A mixture of jazz, 1960s pop, and Bossa Nova as described by themselves. I used to listen to this music primarily when I was sad, and felt the want to mellow in my melancholy feelings. This could still be the case, but I think in general this type of music keeps me calm.
